Grim-Mini Hearts
by Evilkitten3
Summary: The Rebellion never happened. Instead, Brain ended up taking our favorite Tower brats to Grimoire Heart. Instead, Ultear ended up becoming a big sister to Jellal, Erza, Millianna, Shô, Simon, Wally, Richard, Erik, Sorano, Sawyer, Macbeth, and Cubellios. Instead, you get to follow them on their wacky, not-entirely-evil adventures! (series of one-shots) AU; pairings TBD
1. Rebellion

One of the best things about being a teenage was that people expected you to cause trouble. For Zancrow, the idea of a teenager _not_ causing trouble was absolutely out of the question. And, even better, convincing someone else to cause trouble was still technically causing trouble - only you didn't get in trouble for it; someone else did.

"I feel so sorry for you," the eighteen year old said to Ultear one day. "Since everyone groups you with those Tower brats, you have to go to sleep at the same time that they do. Ultear's eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean?" the fifteen year old demanded indignantly. Zancrow hid a snicker a shrugged.

"Well, Master Hades sends the brats to bed at eight," he said simply. "And he sends you to sleep with them, since you room with one of them. But me, I get to go to sleep whenever I want." Ultear scoffed.

"Yeah, right," she said, rolling her eyes. "As _if_. Master Hades trust me way more than you. You probably have to go to sleep even earlier." Zancrow shook his head solemnly.

"Last night, I stayed up until _eleven_ ," he told her. Ultear's jaw dropped.

" _No_ ," she breathed.

"Yup." Zancrow watched Ultear's face become very calculating. She turned and stalked off, her pigtails waving behind her. He grinned.

* * *

"We're staying up until _what_?" Richard asked, astounded.

"Twelve." Ultear declared. "Tonight, we don't go to sleep until midnight."

"But that's tomorrow," Shô pointed out. "And Macbeth's already asleep anyway." Ultear frowned, and nudged the dual-haired boy in the ribs. He opened one eye and gave her an angry look.

"I don't know about this," Jellal said nervously. "This feels like a really bad idea." Simon nodded in agreement.

"I don't think we should make ourselves stay up so late just because you wanna show up Zancrow," he pointed out. "Plus, that guy's eighteen."

"I'm fifteen," Ultear snapped. "Richard is too. And you guys are all thirteen, right?" Wally shook his head.

"Sorano, Simon, Erik, and Sawyer are thirteen," he corrected.

"And Cubellios!" Erik called. Wally rolled his eyes.

"We don't know that, dumby!" he yelled back. "Anyway, they're thirteen, but Erza, Macbeth, and me are twelve."

"'Macbeth and _I_ '," Richard corrected. Wally groaned.

" _Whatever_. We're twelve, Shô and Millianna are nine, and we're not sure how old Jellal is." He said.

"I'm probably Erza's age," Jellal said, frowning. "Grandpa Rob and Master Hades both said so." Ultear groaned.

" _The point is_ ," she hissed, "we're all old enough to stay up later! So why shouldn't we? I thought you guys were all about freedom!"

"That's a bit unnecessary," Sorano noted. "But whatever. I say we go for it."

"If it's a competition, I'm in!" Erza declared, eyes shining. "Zancrow will learn to fear our power!" Millianna giggled. Sawyer gave Erza a weird look.

"You tell yourself that," he muttered.

"All in favor, say 'aye'!" Shô said happily. He looked excited.

"Aye," said Ultear, Shô, Erik, Sorano, Erza, and Millianna.

"All opposed, say 'nay'." Macbeth snapped from his place on Erza's bed.

"Nay," said Simon, Wally, Richard, Jellal, Sawyer, and Macbeth. There was a silence.

"Looks like a tie," Richard pointed out. Erik grinned.

"That's what you think!" He declared. "Cubellios is with me! So that's seven votes for staying awake." Simon sighed.

"Does the snake really count?" he asked. "Snakes have a different sleeping pattern than people do." Erza beamed at him.

"It'll be fun!" she said cheerfully. Simon groaned.

"Oh, alright, fine," he muttered.

"I guess it couldn't hurt," Jellal said hesitantly. Sawyer shrugged.

"I don't actually care," he admitted. Wally and Richard glanced at each other.

"Just this once probably won't matter," Richard allowed. Wally nodded.

"Fine, but I get to sleep in after that," Macbeth declared.

"You always sleep in," Jellal pointed out. Macbeth frowned.

"Well, then, I get to sleep in _more_." he snapped.

"Then it's decided!" Ultear announced. "We're having a sleepover in the guildhall!"

"…You mean the middle of the airship?" Sorano asked. "That's the closest thing to a guildhall we've got." Ultear nodded happily. Macbeth jumped onto Jellal, who yelped in surprise.

"I want to share a sleeping bag with Jellal," he demanded. Jellal blushed.

"Why on earth would you want that?" he asked.

"The floor is hard and cold," Macbeth explained. "Jellal is warm. Plus, he lets me use him as a pillow." Erza look dejected.

"I do too!" she protested. The others glanced at the armor-wearing girl.

"Jellal is warm," Macbeth repeated. "He's like a giant pillow."

"I'm not a pillow," Jellal blurted out. His face was very red at this point.

"Whatever," Ultear waved their side conversations off. "We won't go to sleep until twelve tonight!"

"Technically, that's tomorrow," Sawyer pointed out. "So you're basically saying, 'tonight we sleep tomorrow'." Ultear throw a book at him, and he yelped, throwing himself to the floor to avoid it.

* * *

Hades walked into the main room of the airship to find eleven sleeping bags scattered around the room. The twelve children (and one snake) were all fast asleep. Zancrow was leaning against the wall, giggling like an idiot.

"What's going on here?" Hades demanded. Zancrow looked at him and then laughed even harder. Somehow, all of the children slept through it.

"They're having a slumber party," he explained. Hades looked at Zancrow, then to the children, and then back at Zancrow.

"…At five-thirty in the afternoon?"


	2. The Talk

Hades was going to kill Brain. And then contact Keyes of Tartaros, have him resurrect the fucker, and then kill him again. Being the Master of a Dark Guild meant a lot of things - it meant he had to be powerful, intimidating, and at least semi-criminally insane, but it did _not_ mean that he had to give "The Talk" to a group of Dark Mages in training.

On the bright side, the older children (Ultear, Simon, Richard, Sorano, and Sawyer) already knew, and Richard had claimed to have explained everything to Wally about a year earlier. So, while the other six children were off doing their own things (i.e., talking about little sisters, drawing race cars, peeling potatoes for dinner, and/or freezing over Zancrow's bedroom out of spite), the younger kids were sitting in the main room watching their Guild Master pace.

"Do you think we're in trouble?" Shô asked his roommate, Macbeth, quietly.

Roommates had been decided based on age, gender, and, in some cases, familiarity - Macbeth and Shô, Richard and Wally, Erza and Millianna, Ultear and Sorano, Simon and Jellal, and Erik and Sawyer. However, Sawyer had had one too many instances of waking up to see a rather large snake staring at him, and had asked Jellal if they could switch. Since Simon and Sawyer got along fairly well (and since Sawyer's definition of "ask" was synonymous with "guilt-trip"), Jellal had agreed. He liked Cubellios, and he liked spending time with Erik, so it wasn't much of a problem for him. Besides, every now and then, he got the feeling that Simon didn't like him very much.

"No." The half-awake boy grunted irritably. Macbeth was lying on the floor with his head on Jellal's lap. Every now and then, Erza would send him an annoyed look, and he would stick his tongue out at her. Jellal was, as always, completely oblivious to this.

"Master Hades, is everything all right?" the blue-haired boy asked. Hades sighed, and turned to face the kids.

"Children," he began, "you have all reached an age where we - that is to say, Brain and myself - have agreed that it is time you learned a bit more about yourselves." Erik raised a hand.

"Why does Jelly have a tattoo?" he asked bluntly. At the mention of his unfortunate nickname, Jellal blushed.

"Could you not call me that?" He pleaded. Erik shrugged.

"Sure thing, Tomato-face." He said, grinning at his roommate. Jellal's face (which had gained many less than flattering nicknames due to how easily the person it was attached to got embarrassed) reddened even more, and he covered it with his hands. Hades cleared his throat.

"As I was saying," he continued, giving the two boys a warning look, "you are all going to be experiencing some physical changes very soon. Some of you," he said, gesturing towards Erza, "are already experiencing these changes."

"You mean these?" Erza asked, pointing at her breastplate. Hades nodded.

"Yes. Those. Millianna, you too will also begin to grow breasts fairly soon."

"How soon?" Millianna asked, looking worried. "Will it hurt?"

"I don't think so," Hades told her. "And not for a while. You aren't even ten yet, so I'd say you have a couple more years, at least." Millianna relaxed.

"That's good," the cat-loving girl said. She leaned against Jellal in relief, but back up when Macbeth hissed at her. "Angry kitty…" she mumbled. Erza pulled Millianna into a hug - causing the brunette's head to collide with the redhead's armor. "Me _owch_!"

"Sorry," Erza mumbled, looking abashed.

"Erza, Millianna," Hades continued, "You two can talk to Ultear and Sorano if you have any questions. Dismissed!" The two girls stood up, bowed, and ran out of the room, giggling. Hades sighed, and turned back to the boys. Shô and Macbeth had gotten into a fight over who got to sit on Jellal, Erik was trying to convince Cubellios to follow the girls and scare them, and Jellal was ignoring the two boys fighting over his lap and instead trying to simultaneously watch Erik and pay attention to Hades. The Master of Grimoire Heart gave up. "You boys can go to," he said wearily. "I'll tell you when you're older." Hades turned and strode from the room. Obviously, girls really _did_ mature faster than boys.

Elsewhere, Ultear finished pouring gasoline all over Zancrow's pillows.


	3. Mom and Dad (and Toast)

One thing Ultear had noticed about Grimoire Heart's newest additions was the each of them seemed to have a role.

Erza was the bossy one, Millianna was the peppy one, Sorano was the aloof one, Sawyer was the snide one, Richard was the optimistic one, Wally was the weird one (although, if you asked him, he'd say he was the "dandy" one), Erik was the troublemaker, Simon was the sane one, Macbeth was the sleepy one, Cubellios was the reptilian one, Jellal was socially clueless one, and Shô was the baby.

Shô's innocence was, as far as Ultear was concerned, rather adorable, especially considering that he'd spent several months as a slave (at least, she assumed that's how long he'd been there - she'd never asked).

One morning, however, he walked into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and dragging a semi-unconscious (or possibly entirely unconscious) Macbeth behind him, and greeted Brain and Hades, who were quietly arguing over whether or not Ultear was to be punished for cause Zancrow to set his bed on fire (he'd had it coming, really), as 'mom' and 'dad'.

It took everyone a moment to realize what he'd said. Shô blinked, and then a look of shock, misery, embarrassment flushed over his face.

"Sorry!" he yelped, cowering back. He was shaking, looking terrified. Ultear watched, fascinated, as Jellal stepped in front of the younger boy, eyes narrowed. Hades stood to his full height.

"Shô," he said, his authoritative voice echoing around the kitchen. "Look at me." Shô looked up. Hades glowered down at him. "Do you realize–"

"Why am _I_ the mother?" Brain broke in. Shô looked at him.

"W-what?"

"What am I the mother?" Brain repeated. "I'm quite obviously not a woman. I should be more of a father to you - Hades is too old for the job. The closest person to a mother figure you have, young man, is the one currently acting as protective barrier." Jellal turned bright red, and he threw a piece of toast at Brain before sitting back down in his chair and sulking. Macbeth quickly tugged his hand away from Shô and scrambled into Jellal's lap.

"Hold me," he demanded. Jellal sighed.

"Do I have a choice?" he wondered. Macbeth shook his head, clutching his teddy bear (which had been a gift from Ultear, who hadn't wanted it, to Erza, who didn't know what to do with it, to Jellal, who didn't even know what it was, to Macbeth, who loved it more than life itself).

"No." The soon-to-be-eleven-year-old said, curling up and falling asleep. Erik grinned at Jellal.

"You never let _us_ sit in your lap," he teased. Jellal rolled his eyes, cheeks still very red.

"You, Erik," he said haughtily, "are almost thirteen. Plus, you're too big to sit in my lap." Simon snickered.

"Yeah, but you could sit in his," the one-eyed boy pointed out. Jellal threw a piece of toast at him too.

"Dammit, Brain," Hades snapped. "I had this covered." Brain sipped his tea.

"Don't make the children think poorly of Grandpa Hades," he said lightly. Hades took a leaf from Jellal's book and threw a piece of toast at him.


	4. Pointy Things

If there was one thing Simon and Macbeth could agree on, it was their dislike of how close Jellal and Erza were - Simon because he had a crush on the latter, and Macbeth because he was an attention whore.

Despite this, there was no denying that Jellal and Erza's relationship was not going to go anywhere, and was, in fact, only growing stronger. At the moment, Jellal was helping Erza with her sword practice, somehow keeping up with her despite the redhead's obvious superiority in skill.

"Where did you learn to use a sword?" Erza asked, braid swinging as she parried a swipe from her sparring partner.

"Saving you, actually," Jellal confessed, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "I never used a sword before that."

"You have a lot of natural talent," Erza observed, smiling. "I may have some competition." Jellal laughed.

"I don't think I'm anywhere near your level," he replied. "I know you're going easy on me." Simon and Macbeth exchanged a look and rolled their eyes.

"Aren't they cute?" Erik asked, poking his head between them. Macbeth gagged, and Erik snickered. Simon made to hit the young Dragon Slayer, but Sorano got there first.

"Don't be a dick, dick." She snapped. Erik scowled, rubbing his arm.

"Jeez, take a joke," he muttered. "Erza likes him, sure, but he's way too dumb to notice." Simon looked down.

"I doubt it," the one-eyed boy said quietly. "He ran off to save her when–"

"He literally would've done that for any of us," Erik interrupted. "But he gave Erza her last name, so of course they're close." A clanging noise caused them to glance back at the fight. Erza had pinned Jellal to the floor, her sword at his throat. He smiled at her.

"You win," he said simply. "Again." Erza blinked, realized how close they were, and jumped back.

"Right!" she squeaked. "Um, good fight!" She helped him to his feet, face red.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep up," Jellal admitted. "Sparring with you is fun, but you always end up going easy on me. If you don't get a better sparring partner, you're not going to improve."

"I know," Erza admitted. "But I just..." she broke off, cheeks red. "We never spend time together anymore," she blurted. Jellal tilted his head, confused.

"What do you mean?" He asked, frowning.

"It's been ages since you spent any time with us," Sorano cut in. "You're always off with Master Hades or Brain." Jellal was silent.

"I hadn't noticed," he said, scratching the back of his neck. He looked down at the floor. "I'll go talk to Hades right now and see if I can make more room for you guys in my schedule." He grinned, and darted out of the room.

"He has a schedule?" Simon asked, frowning. "I didn't know that."

"Neither did I," Erza said.

"Same," Macbeth muttered, staring after the blue-haired boy.

"Is it just me, or has he been acting really weird lately?" Erik grumbled, eyes narrowed.

"It's not just you," the other four said together.

"I think he's just excited," Erza said, shaking her head with an exasperated smile. "Brain's been asking for his help a lot lately. He likes being helpful, especially since his magic isn't great."

That was true - while the others were all well on their way to mastering their chosen magics, Jellal had yet to find a magic that agreed with him, and often ended up feeling useless and left behind. Thus, every time one of the older members of the guild (especially Brain or Hades) asked for help, he would leap for the opportunity. He loved to help the others train as well, though they all ended up feeling like they were showing off (they were, but Jellal never seemed to mind). True to his optimistic and patient nature, Jellal firmly believed that he would find the magic that was right for him in due time, and that he should at least be as helpful as possible until then.

Despite being very sure of herself and her understanding of one of her closest friends, Erza couldn't help but feel a twinge of doubt in her gut.

It's fine, she told herself. Everything is fine.

Maybe if she said it enough, she'd believe it.


	5. Tartaros

As far as Kyôka was concerned, going against Mard Geer was generally a bad idea. This time, however, she felt more than a little justified.

"Babysitting?" she exploded. " _Babysitting_?" Mard Geer sighed.

"Mard Geer is also displeased, Kyôka," he said coolly. "However, Hades has made it quite clear that Grimoire Heart will not be able to complete the task we've assigned them if there are children about."

"How many children, exactly?" Ezel asked, looking hopeful.

"Ten preteens, two teenagers, and a snake," Seilah told him, not looking up from her book. "You can't eat any of them." Ezel folded all four of his arms and grumbled something under his breath. Whatever it was, it probably wasn't pleasant, so nobody asked him what he'd said.

* * *

Arriving at Tartaros was slightly nerve-wracking for the young mages of Grimoire Heart - if only because they were greeted by a skeleton, a yellow blob-like creature, and a diminutive woman with bunny ears sprouting from her skull who immediately started squealing over them.

"Welcome to Tartaros," Mard Geer said as Keyes led the children into his throne room. "In order to keep things simple, Mard Geer has decided to place each of you under the care of a different member. Except Ezel. And Keyes."

"What?" Ezel complained. "Boo."

"What did I do?" Keyes wondered.

"Erza Scarlet and Sorano Agria." Kyôka stalked forward. "You'll two are with me." The girls glanced at each other, and Sorano shrugged.

"Whatever," she decided.

"I'm taking Macbeth and Shô," Seilah said.

"I've got Erik and Cube-leo-s," Tempester stated.

"Cubellios," Erik corrected.

"Richard and Wally get to come with me!" Franmalth piped up. "How much are they worth?"

"You can't sell them, shit-for-brains," Jackal grumbled. "I've got Millianna."

"Kitty!" Millianna squealed, throwing her arms around him.

"Get this thing off me!" Jackal yelped, flailing about wildly.

"You're with me, cutie~" Lamy sang, attaching herself to Simon's arm.

"...I'm thirteen," Simon told her nervously. She giggled.

"I don't mind," she told him, batting her eyelashes.

"I DO!" Simon wailed.

"Ultear Milkovich, you are with Silver." Mard Geer said, smirking.

"What?" Silver yelped. "Why am I stuck with her?"

"What'd I do to you?" Ultear demanded, frowning.

"Nothing," Silver told her. "I just really hate your mother." Ultear's look of distaste changed to approval.

"Looks like we've got something in common after all," she said. Sawyer coughed out something that sounded like "mommy issues" and Ultear punched him in the solar plexus.

"I've got Sawyer," Torafuzar said. Jellal turned to Mard Geer.

"So..." he began.

"Yes," Mard Geer confirmed. "Jellal Fernandes is with Mard Geer." Macbeth, who was asleep on Jellal's back, opened one eye and hissed like a cat.

"Go with Seilah-san," Jellal told him. Grumbling, the duel-haired boy slid onto the floor and trudged over to the horned woman. He yawned.

"I'll read you a story," Seilah offered. Macbeth's eyes lit up.

"I like stories!" Shô exclaimed.

* * *

"So, why do you look like a shark?" Sawyer asked. Torafuzar shrugged.

"Because reasons." He replied. Sawyer thought about it for a minute.

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

"Stop questioning my authority!" Kyôka snarled.

"Stop telling me what to do!" Erza yelled back.

"I wish I'd brought popcorn," Sorano said, swinging her legs as she watched the other two fight.

* * *

"...And that's why I hate my mother," Ultear finished. Silver had tears streaming down his face.

"You poor thing!" He wailed, embracing her. "How could anyone abandon their own child like that?" Ultear blinked, confused.

"...Weren't you just telling me that you possessed this body solely to give a child abandonment issues?" she asked.

* * *

"What happens next?" Shô asked, eyes shining. Macbeth was fast asleep.

"Next?" Seilah asked. "Nothing happens next. All the humans are dead and the demons win." Shô frowned.

"But... the good guys are supposed to win," he protested.

"And that's why human stories are stupid," Seilah explained. "A human can't beat a demon."

"...I think I liked Grandpa Rob's stories better," Shô mumbled.

* * *

"So, what do you guys do for fun around here?" Erik wondered. Cubellios was snoozing around his shoulders. Tempester glanced down at him.

"Seilah-san reads, Mard Geer-sama plots, Jackal-san blows things up, Lamy dissects things, Torafuzar-san has staring contests with the walls, Ezel-san goes out and eats children, Silver-san freezes people's feet to the floor, Keyes-san likes summoning the dead and making them do silly things, Franmalth counts money, and Kyôka..." Tempester hesitated.

"Yeah?" Erik pressed him. "What's she do when she's bored?"

"...Seilah." (It wouldn't be for a few more years that Erik finally got the joke).

* * *

"Okay, kid, will you stop rubbing my ears?"

"KITTY!"

"I'M NOT A GODDAMN KITTY! SOMEONE GET THIS THING OFF ME!"

* * *

"How much is it worth?" Franmalth squealed happily, placing another gold coin on the stack in front of him.

"Oh yeah!" Richard agreed, amazed by the enormous amount of money in front of him.

"Dandy!" said Wally, who honestly had no idea what the hell was going on.

* * *

"You have such nice muscles~" Lamy cooed, clutching the petrified boy's arm.

"I need an adult," Simon whimpered. Lamy grinned.

"I am an adult~" she told him. Simon blinked at her.

"Pull the other one." he said in disbelief. She detached herself and frowned.

"Excuse you?" It suddenly occurred to Simon that pissing off demons was probably not a good idea. On the other hand...

"Please don't be offended, but I'm going to run as far away from you as I possibly can." He declared. He then proceeded to do so.

* * *

"I'm hungry," Ezel complained.

"I don't ca–" Keyes began, but Silver suddenly burst through the door, Ultear on his heels.

"NICE TO MEET YOU, HUNGRY!" He bellowed. "I'M SILVER!" He and Ultear both cackled madly before fleeing from the room, leaving behind two very confused demons.

"...What." Keyes said.

* * *

"Do you know why Mard Geer chose you?" Mard Geer quietly asked the twelve-year-old. Jellal shook his head.

"No, sir, I don't," he replied truthfully. Mard Geer turned, and strode to the other side of the room. He faced Jellal once more and held up the book he'd been carrying around in his arms.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked. Again, Jellal shook his head. Mard Geer smiled. The irony of it all was almost funny. _This boy... it cannot be that both Hades and Brain have failed to notice his potential. Still, how foolish of them to think Mard Geer wouldn't notice_. He cast one last look at the blue-haired boy, and his eyes gained a malicious glint. _Perhaps today was not such a waste of time after all. Jellal Fernandes... Mard Geer wonders if you've figured it out yet._ "This is a very important book," Mard Geer told him. "Come here." After a moment's hesitation, Jellal obeyed.

"What now, sir?" he asked, looking nervous. Mard Geer took the young boy's right hand and placed it on top of the book.

"Can you feel that?" he murmured quietly. "That power... you feel it, don't you?"

"Yeah..." Jellal whispered back. The expression on his face was one of awe. "Sir, what exactly _is_ that?" Mard Geer pulled the book away and tucked it back under his arm.

"It is something very precious to this guild," he explained. And, as he watched the rune on Jellal's palm disappear unnoticed into his skin, the demon hid a cruel smirk. _And now, little human, it is something very precious to_ you _as well_...


	6. Fathers' Day

(Can't really compete with _that_ kind of competition. XD Glad you're enjoying this nonsense! Let's celebrate some dads! :D)

* * *

Ultear Milkovich rarely paid attention to parent-related holidays (although she was always happy to burn a voodoo doll of Ur on Mother's Day), and she certainly had no interested in celebrating the man who had abandoned her with _that woman_.

The Tower brats (as the older members of Grimoire Heart had taken to calling them), however, were more than happy to take any excuse to celebrate something, especially if it involved cake. Of course, this immediately led to a fight over whether they should be celebrating Hades (a motion supported by Erza, Ultear, Shô, and Millianna), Brain (supported by Richard, Wally, Sawyer, and Macbeth), both (supported by Jellal, Simon, and, apparently, Cubellios), or neither (Erik and Sorano, both of whom professed not to care).

In the end, Jellal won the argument by pointing out that celebrating two people meant twice as much cake, which had immediately won over Erza (who only really cared about the cake), Shô (who was on Erza's side out of principle), Macbeth (probably, anyway - he'd slept through both votes, so the rest of the group had just guessed), and Millianna (who saw everyone else swapping sides and decided to do so as well). The others agreed as well, though they refrained from stating any reason as to the change of mind.

In order to plan the celebration, Ultear asked the kids what they'd done for their fathers in the past. While Shô, Simon, Millianna, Sawyer, Sorano, Richard, Wally, and Erik were more than happy to share, Jellal, Erza, and Macbeth all looked a little uncomfortable.

"I never met either of my parents," Erza mumbled softly. She went on to explain to the Time Mage that her surname had been given to her by Jellal.

"I only ever knew my mother," Macbeth told them nonchalantly after Jellal had gently shaken him awake.

Jellal had refrained from commenting, and the look on his face told Ultear all that she needed to know.

"Does anyone know how to bake?" Ultear asked. Simon, Richard, and Sorano all raised their hands - as older siblings (orphans, in Simon and Richard's cases), they'd had to help out in the kitche quite often. "Alright, the three of you can make the cakes."

"Make strawberry cake!" Erza piped up. Simon sighed.

"We're making two cakes, Erza," he reminded her gently.

"And they should both be chocolate!" Sorano declared. Richard beamed.

"We shall make one of each!" he boomed happily. "Oh yeah!" With that, he led the other two bakers off to the kitchens.

"Right," Ultear continued. "The rest of us should work on decorating. Jellal, Sorano, and Erik will go out to buy decorations, Sawyer, Wally, and Erza will make sure we have enough place settings and silverware, and you lot–" she gestured to the 'babies' of the group (Millianna, Shô, and Macbeth) "-will stay here and help me set everything up."

"What about Cubellios?" Erik asked. "I can't really take her to the store."

"I'll keep an eye on her," Macbeth offered, hoping to get out of actually having to do anything.

"No, you will not," Ultear snapped. "You're contributing whether you like it or not." Macbeth scowled. "Cubellios can stay here so long as she behaves," the Time Mage told the Dragon Slayer calmly. Erik nodded happily, setting his beloved snake down on the floor (she immediately slid back against the wall, curling up in a position that allowed her to watch over her comrades).

Jellal grinned, excited. "Let's get to work!" he cheered.

* * *

It had been a rather long day, mostly consisting of hunting down rogue Dark Guilds and "persuading" them to join the Balam Alliance, and both Hades and Brain were rather tired. Granted, Brain had spent the entire day in his lab (probably cackling madly to himself, Hades thought), but he too was rather tired. Both looked forward to a quiet dinner and then some well-deserved rest and relax–

"HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!" Opening the door to the dining area was generally not such a noisy task. Hades was about to yell at the children for making a racket when he saw the table. There were two cakes - a strawberry cake with the words 'Master Hades' written in blue icing and a chocolate cake with 'Brain' written in green - along with a nice assortment of store-bought party food platters. Standing in a row, with eyes shining, were twelve teens and pre-teens, as well as one snake.

Hades smiled fondly.

"Thanks, kids," he said simply. Behind him, Brain laughed.

"Softy," the dark-skinned scientist taunted. Hades ignored him, turning to the children.

"I suggest you hurry up and sit down before we eat all the cake," he advised.

"But you can't eat the cake _first_!" Sorano protested, looking horrified. Brain grinned.

"Hm... maybe we should _just_ eat the cake," he teased. Sorano, Richard, and Simon all looked so terrified at the concept of eating dessert before dinner that both adults burst into laughter.

Ultear watched the proceedings in a sort of quieted awe. She laughed and joked with the others, and, this time, they actually did stay up past their bed time. Maybe Father's Day (or, as the case may be, Fathers' Day) wasn't so bad after all.

For the first time in her life, Ultear was actually happy to hear the word 'father'.

Across the table, Jellal met her eyes and gave a tiny nod in agreement.

There were some things that they would never share, some boundaries that they might not ever overcome, but family was family.

And really, nothing else could ever be quite so important.


	7. Braid Train

Prompt:

If you're still doing gmh (grim mini hearts) maybe do something with the prompt braid train with the groups bbies? If you want to i mean if you arent willing to do it its fine but bc it would be cute in your style im asking! Love ur writing btw :)

 **AN: Okay, I was gonna finish some other things first, but le-superstar-potato8802 is amazing and made me feel a bajillion times better after chapter 517 (which almost took away any desire I had to write for this fandom ever again), so here we go. I should warn you - I have no experience with braid trains, but I will do my best. I hope you enjoy.**

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"You want to ride a train?" Jellal asked, confused. Behind him, Simon snorted into his hot chocolate.

"It's a _braid_ train, Jellal," he called. "You sit in a row and braid the hair of whoever's in front of you." Jellal frowned.

"But... only Erza and Ultear have long hair," he pointed out. Macbeth tugged on his coat. "Oh, and Macbeth. Sorry," he apologized to the younger boy cuddled against his side. Macbeth stopped pouting and nodded, his desire for attention temporarily sated.

"I also have long hair!" Richard called out. "Oh yeah!"

"So does Zancrow," Ultear said smugly.

"Hell the fuck no," Zancrow said immediately, standing up and backing away. "I ain't gettin' involved in this shit. Oy, Brain and Master Hades got long hair too; go bug them!"

"Absolutely not," Jellal cut in, frown deepening. "Master Hades is very busy, and Brain is..." he hesitated. "Well, he's probably not busy, but I heard a lot of laughing coming from the basement, so I vote for not finding out."

"Seconded," said Sorano quickly. The rest of the gang nodded, and Zancrow quickly made his escape.

"Coward!" Erik bellowed after him. He heard Zancrow flipping him off, and sniggered. "Okay, so who here knows how to braid?" Simon, Erza, Sorano, Richard, Jellal, and Ultear raised their hands.

"Wait, Jellal?" Erza turned to him.

"Ultear taught me," he explained. "I practice on Macbeth."

"I like braids," Macbeth said sleepily. He stuck his tongue out at Erza and Sorano, both of whom shot him dark looks. Jellal, as usual, didn't notice.

"Alright," Ultear declared, clapping her hands. "Everyone who's participating, get in a circle."

"I thought it was supposed to be a train," Sawyer said, glancing up from across the room. He had been playing tic-tac-toe with Zancrow until the latter had fled at the thought of someone trying to braid his hair (playing anything with Zancrow was usually a bad idea - you had to let him win lest he set the game, and any nearby opponents, on fire).

"Trains can go in a circle!" Ultear snapped back.

"Ultear," Jellal said gently. The Time Mage turned to look at him. "I don't think you want Millianna's fingers in your hair." Ultear blanched at the thought - for all of the cat lover's positive traits, clean fingers were rarely one of them. Millianna pouted.

"I'll braid your hair," Erza assured her. "As for me–"

"I'll braid yours!" Simon said eagerly. Erza smiled at him.

"Thanks, Simon."

"Wait, Simon, we can't braid your hair," Wally pointed out. "It's too short."

"We can have multiple braid trains," Sorano said, glancing at Jellal. "I'll braid Macbeth's hair, and Jellal can braid mine." Both Erza and Macbeth scowled at that. Macbeth tightened his grip on Jellal's waist.

" _No_ ," he said firmly. Ultear rolled her eyes.

"Sorano, you braid Macbeth's hair," she said, her tone brooking no argument. "I'll braid yours and Richard can braid mine. Jellal, you braid Richard's."

"Good thinking, Ultear," Jellal smiled at her. He turned to the rest of their little group. "What about you guys?"

"Pass," Erik said, scratching Cubellios under the chin. Sawyer and Wally both nodded in agreement, Sawyer protectively running a hand over his mohawk.

"Can I braid your hair, Jellal?" Shô asked innocently. Jellal grinned.

"Sure you can," he replied. His hair was too short for real braiding, but Shô didn't know how to braid anyway and Jellal didn't want to exclude him.

That day, the gang discovered three things: First, Erza's hair was the best for braiding. Second, Ultear was the best _at_ braiding (followed by Jellal, who had taken her lessons to heart). Third, Millianna was not capable of sitting still for any length of time, and ended up getting bored and running off to play with Erik and Cubellios, leaving Simon - blushing madly - alone with Erza.

Most of the braids were taken out by the end of the day - Ultear first, as Richard's hands were honestly just too big for an effective braid (he apologized profusely, of course), then Jellal (whose hair hadn't really been braided anyway; just tugged a bit), then Richard (who thought Jellal had done an excellent job, but felt that braids weren't really his style), then Sorano (whose short hair made braids a tad uncomfortable), then Millianna (whose braid had only been halfway finished anyway), and finally Erza (who only took out the braid to shower, thanking Simon for his excellent work).

Macbeth forgot about his braid entirely, and didn't take it out until a few days later, when someone reminded him that it was there.

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 **AN: I hope that was good! I'm surprised by how quickly this got done... Not much actual braiding, sadly, but I don't know very much about braids. XD I hope you enjoyed! :D Kitty out.**


	8. The 'Cat' in Catastrophe

Prompt: okay but in gmh u cant convince me that millia macbeth and sho didnt flood the house with cats and named at least one of them something childish and immature like sir buttsalot or smthing (from anonymous)

"If that thing bites me one more goddamn time, I'm going to eat it!" Erik roars, clutching his bleeding finger. The cat (who had been dubbed 'Lord Farto' by Shō) looked very smug.

"Can't you hear them coming?" Sawyer asks, smirking. A combination of speed and common sense - a rarity in their guild - had seen to his lack of cat-related injuries.

"Yeah, but there's a gajillion of these things running around," Erik complains. "I can't tell which one's which."

"Think of it as an opportunity to train your hearing," Jellal suggests. It's hard to take him seriously when Deathray the Destroyer (they'd need to have a talk with Macbeth about appropriate cat names) was curled up on his head. He was doing his best to hold still so she wouldn't fall off, but that was probably more to protect himself from her claws should she decide she wanted to secure her position.

"Whereas you can train your ability to act like our mother even when you look completely ridiculous," Simon teases. Jellal gives him a mock hurt look.

"I've talked to Master Hades," Sorano sniffs, gingerly stepping around Sir Butts-a-Lot (Millianna, it seemed, was just as immature as Shō). She had been very clear how she felt about getting cat hair on her dresses, and the guild had done their best to keep them away from her, lest she uphold her promise to shriek like a banshee until all their eardrums burst. "We'll be getting rid of the cats tomorrow. Erza, Richard, Wally, Ultear, and Jellal will be taking them to shelters." Jellal blinked.

"I will?" he asked, surprised.

"Well, _I'm_ certainly not doing it," Sorano tells him, frowning. "And I doubt anyone else is particularly interested in detaching that _thing_ from your head."

"Her name is Deathray the Destroyer," Macbeth complains.

"Aren't you still in time out?" Simon asks, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Macbeth says.

" _Yes_ ," Erza says, walking in and grabbing his arm. "And if Ultear finds out that you tried to escape, she'll double your punishment." Macbeth sulks, but allows Erza to lead him out of the room.

"It's a miracle I haven't killed him yet," Sorano mutters, scowling.

"It's a miracle Cubellios hasn't gone after the cats yet," Jellal notes. Erik shrugs.

"I hate 'em, but Millianna would cry if I let 'em get eaten. And she's annoying when she cries," he adds, before Sawyer can make whatever sarcastic comment was on the tip of his tongue.

"Well, either way, they'll be gone soon," Jellal tells Sorano reassuringly. "I'll help, so don't worry about it."

"Good," she snaps, turning and stalking off. The boys wisely refrain from telling her that a tiny white kitten is clinging to the back of her dress.


End file.
